I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
