Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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