I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
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My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
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Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat