Can i not drive my cunt home
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Plural? Please tell.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.