does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
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While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
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I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex