so that wasnt chicken after all
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
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