So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
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I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
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Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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