never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
