I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
