I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
But break dance skills will only take you so far
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
