And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
