..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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