I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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