respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
