At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize