Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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