we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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