ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
