if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize