I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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