That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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