walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
