apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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