Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
