Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
