I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
