So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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