he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
