I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
