I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
