Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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