You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
