This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
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I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
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I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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