I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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