You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
