6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
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How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
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An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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