I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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