After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize