He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
