This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
There's even glitter on my cock...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
