why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
