It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
