even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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