Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
