Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
