New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
