Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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