i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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