I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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