If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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