He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
