Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
