The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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