I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
