if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
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U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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