my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
