I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize