ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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