Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
