just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
